I’m sitting here on the eve of release of my fourth YA novel, and I’ve been feeling very reflective lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about the journey to this point. I think this is because Good Young Men feels different. I am not feeling the usual pre-release anxiety that I did with my last three books. Instead, I’m feeling determined to do everything I can to make the book sell and reach its readers. I believe in this story with all my heart, and I am confident it’s a story that’ll reach wide and resonate strongly. It will make me sound a little bit egotistical to say this, but I believe this new book is as good as I get as a writer. I feel like it is the book I was always meant to write, the one I’ve been working towards all these years.

It feels different this time.

Once the book hits the shelves, I no longer have any control over it, and I have no say in how well it sells or how readers receive it. I hope it’ll sell well, and I hope readers love it, but all I can do is hope now, and get my face out there as much as possible. I’ve got a number of events over the next few months, which means I will get to speak to readers directly, sign the books they’ve bought and learn a little about them each time. This is the author life I dreamed of as a kid – speaking at book festivals, signing books at tables, hearing directly from readers and sharing these magical moments where you remember why books are so special.

Leading up to the release, I’ve been thinking back to the release of my debut quite a lot: The Boy from the Mish. I didn’t know anything about being an author (except for the writing part). The book did overwhelmingly well, sold multiple rights before release, helped me quit a job I hated, earned a U.S publishing deal, got me invited to a literature festival in Germany, sold film & TV rights (that ended up going nowhere, but still). It sold thousands more copies than any of my subsequent books. And most importantly, it was the right book at the right time – a story about a gay Aboriginal boy falling in love with another gay Aboriginal boy - written by a gay Aboriginal author - at a time when that didn’t really exist in the market.

The book changed so much for me – opened me to a world of people I feel so lucky to know now, allowed me to rub shoulders with a couple of my heroes.

I think about the person I was when that book came out, way back in February 2021. I was depressed, living in the between covid lockdowns. I was unhealthy. I was abusing alcohol. I was lonely, having shut myself off from dating for a long time after a bad experience. I was grieving still, had never had a therapy session yet. I hated so many parts of myself at the same time I was so excited to be standing on stages and talking about this little book of mine.

I’m glad to say that things are different for me now in a most of those ways. The journey from my debut, to book two, to book three, and now, to book four, has been eventful. There have been health challenges, more grief, financial struggles, more jobs I hated (though I’m glad to say I love where I work now!), and the always-present shadow of self-doubt and imposter syndrome.

I’ve also fallen in love and gotten engaged, experienced what real happiness feels like. I’ve managed my way through the health challenges and found the joy in exercise, and if it’s even possible, have fallen in more in love with writing.

There’s only three environments/conditions that I’ve experienced so far where I have felt truly myself:

1. When I’m in bed with my amazing fiancé on a lazy Sunday, and we’re just talking shit and sharing little moments where nothing else matters.

2. When I am at a Kylie Minogue concert.

3. When I’m writing.

Writing is healing for me. Writing takes away the noise. Writing helps me to trudge through the dark things that always linger within me, helps me understand them and let them go. Writing is like a vital organ my spirit needs, and when I am deep in the act of writing, I am whole.

I’ve been reflecting on who I was in 2021, because I’m so much happier now in every way. I am much more confident in my ability and my value as a writer of young adult fiction. I am really living out the dream I had as a kid, and I know all the things I’ve been through that could have stopped me from trying. But they didn’t. I feel for who I was in February 2021. I didn’t know how good things would become.

Lately, I’ve been trying to write while at the same time being consumed by the upcoming release of Good Young Men. The last two manuscripts I wrote have been dark stories. They’ve explored themes that take a toll on my peace, and I was about to write another dark story before I decided to write a fantasy instead. It’s an idea I’ve had for about a year, and I’ve just passed 16000 words in the first draft. After the last two manuscripts, I needed to move onto something fun for my next project, and I’m having a hell of a time so far (in a good way).

I’ve got a busy few months ahead, but I’m so looking forward to it. Here’s to a big, productive 2026!